I'm that lady...

I have officially become a stereotype. I always considered myself slightly difficult to stereotype, mostly because I am really odd and fascinatingly quirky. (Uh huh, that’s right fascinatingly quirky) I don’t think that I could be lumped into many groups. Most people don’t have multiple friends with a cool name, a bed fetish and bad dye job. I haven’t found a group that is really into the smell of their own pillows. I don’t know anyone else who ponders the inch of tissues or pound of towels. But somehow, even with all my quirks, I have become a stereotype.

I am that lady who works in an office, listening to the radio all day trying to win radio contests.

Correction: I am that lady who works in an office, listening to the radio all day that WINS radio contests.

It is true. Since I entered the real world and started listening to the radio (with my headphones in the quietest office on the planet) I have won three radio contests. The first was exhilarating. I won a Rock 104 t-shirt and the chance to win a trip to Amsterdam. (I didn’t win the trip, but that is ok, because as I’ve been told multiple times since, a trip to Amsterdam would be wasted on me because I wouldn’t use it to get wasted in the Netherlands). I won a CD from the Christian music station. And in my most stunning victory to date, on Friday I won two tickets to a concert that I actually wanted to see.

Yes, I remained glued to the radio the entire day, listening for every hint that the “cue to call” was coming. I memorized the number for the station. I pre-dialed my cell phone and left it sitting on my desk, ready to hit Send when the moment arrived. Each hour, the station would give away a pair of tickets…to someone other than me. I was close twice. Caller 10 the first time and Caller 8 the second. (Obviously, Caller 9 would have been the big winner).

Let me paint the picture for you. I’m sitting in my silent office, my headphones sitting snugly on my ears, when I hear the cue. I dial in a flash, holding my cell phone to one ear and my desk phone to the other.

Random DJ guy: Hello! Who’s this? (in the requisite amazing radio voice. For those of you who know me well, you know how dizzying I find a good voice, and amazing radio voices are at the top of my list of good voices)

Me: Paige? (I didn’t intend for this to be a question, but I was trying to whisper excitedly in my quiet office, and all my words seemed to come out with the unintentional octave raise that the end)

RDG: Hello Paige. Do you know the name of the afternoon DJ?

Me: (thinking). Sweet Mary, I have no f-ing idea. (Note that I had the foresight not to actually say “f-ing” on the Christian music station.)

Me: (aloud). Um, is it Dan? (This really was a question. I had no clue.)

RDG: Do you know Dan’s last name?

Me: Brodie?

RDG (probably Dan Brodie, but that is a guess): That’s right. Congratulations! You just won yourself a pair of tickets to that big show over in Lakeland.

Me: Oh wow! That is great. I’ve been trying all day. (Remember, I’m still whispering, so while I am a stereotype, at least I’m not the stereotype of the girl who wins radio contests and gets WAY too excited on the phone.)

RDG: Trying all day? Well congratulations Paige. Do you know who’s going to be there?

Me: Of course, Steven Curtis Chapman, Casting Crowns, and Chris Tomlin. (Big pause) And me.

RDG: Ohh! Haha. Yes, that’s right. You’re going to be there. Haha (He was obviously very tickled by my clever response) And you could be there too if you stayed tuned for your chance to win next hour.

Me: (stunned silence because up until he addressed the listening audience, I assumed that we’d been talking off the air.)

RDG: Well Paige, obviously we just recorded that. We’re going to play that back in a second; hang on and you can listen to yourself on the radio.

Me: (Immediately laughing my butt off as I listen to myself whisper in excitement on the radio).

So it is official. I’m that radio-listening, contest-winning office worker. There is still some hope for me. I haven’t resorted to trying to win things I have no interest in doing, but I’m sure that is the next step. I’m asking you, as my friends, if I ever get there, please help reel me back in. I can handle being a stereotype, but I don’t want to go overboard.

I only go overboard when it comes to my bed and handwashing. That isn't OCD, ist it?