Ad nauseam

I was looking at realty magazines with Carl and Korrin, and Carl pointed out an ad for a specific realtor. The picture showed a young boy (probably 5 or 6 years old) wearing no pants, sitting on the floor Indian-style straddling a gigantic tub of cheese puffs. He was smiling for the camera with a big Cheeto poised just outside his mouth. The caption said, “For more snack time, call my Mimi. She’ll help you find a house quick.”

I don’t know about you, but a pantless child eating massive cheese puffs from a barrel doesn’t entice me to purchase real estate. In fact, seeing Mimi’s pantless, Cheeto-munching boy makes me think they should cut down on the snack time in favor of some more pants-buying time.

Today, I was running errands, and I drove past an apartment complex that I don’t usually see. There were two motorcycles parked on a little platform in front of the complex’s sign. There was a banner hung above the motorcycles that said, “University Glades: Where living is more than a one night stand.” Uh…

I have so many questions.

What exactly is that supposed to mean? University Glades is more than a one night stand, unlike the trampy, brothel apartment complexes across the street that you can rent by the hour? I thought it might be a play on words – something about furniture, a night stand maybe? Uh, no. Then I thought I might have read it incorrectly. Where-living-is-more-than-a-one-night-stand. Nope, I read it right.

And the motorcycles? Yeah, I have no idea why they were there either.

I say, if you are going to do bad advertising, do it right. Don’t hold back. Nothing says "rent me" or "buy this house" like pictures of half-naked boys on a banner about one night stands.