Make you say "huh?"

I saw something this weekend that I didn’t understand. I went to Chop Stix for dinner with Scott and Juleanne. The place was packed, and our table was next to the bar where a lot of people were waiting to be seated.

There was one group there that has me confused nearly a week later. There were five people in the group, two men and three women. All five were in their late 20s or early 30s. The girls were all strapped into extremely tiny skirts. One wore a bustier. At least one wore a thong (I’m only sure about the one because she flashed our table while readjusting on the barstool in her tiny skirt).

All three girls had cute little bodies and less than cute faces (butter faces, as Scott calls them, as in “She’s got a great body, but her face…”). Each man was obviously with one of the three women. The third (the confirmed thong girl) wasn’t with a date. Her dateless-ness didn’t stop both men in the group from touching her repeatedly throughout the night.

In fact, both men touched all three women while they waited for a table. Not just a handshake, a kiss on the cheek, or a friendly punch on the shoulder, these men were caressing each of the women. There were back rubs, stroking of the hair, playful tugging on the tiny skirts, hugs, hip caressing, neck rubs. It was all very odd. One guy was kissing his girl with his hand resting in the small of another girl’s back.

I spent most of the evening ignoring the conversation at my own table while trying to figure out the relationship between the five people next to us at the bar. We finally came to the conclusion that either there was some ménage five action or the men were pimps.

It reminded me of a game that I like to play in Gainesville. It is called “Girlfriend or Daughter?” The best time to play is while walking down University Avenue on a Friday night or anytime during a game weekend. You play like this – observe a couple comprised of a young girl and an older man. Guess, in competition with your friends, whether you are seeing a “Daddy’s Little Girl” or a “Girl with Sugar Daddy.” Trust me, it isn’t as easy as it sounds. The only surefire way to determine the truth is waiting for the couple to start making out.

…but then, we do live in Alachua County, so you never know.